Seeking balance 

I went to a new hang out spot that a good friend introduced to me one time as fuel for the quiet introvert side of me . This place is quiet , peaceful and where you can spend hours with a large variety of teas cozied up in a corner with piles of comfy pillows .

With each passing hour , I felt more and more relieved and my mind easing up . I felt a big release spending hours there with a nice pot of Chinese tea. I left with a sense of peace , however it didn’t last long.

Eventually a day or more later , the whole wave of tension and fatigue returned and I was at square one again. I spent another week trying to figure out what was wrong and tried to give myself as much self care as possible .

Over the week I realized that it was just the aftermath of facing these big changes in my life all at once . Recently I got promoted as a manager putting me out of the hot kitchen and it caused me to completely change everything I got used to the past 3-4 years all at once suddenly without much slow transition .

This section I’m managing now has cool temperatures, A lot more employees are stationed consistently in this section or going in and out constantly . I have to confront a full on social scene all day , everyday , also being management of this dept, gotta be social the whole time . It’s hard especially only being a half extrovert half introvert.

I end up giving up all my social energy to my job leaving very little to my outside personal social circle . It slowly becomes a toxic ongoing pattern and I knew it’s something I have to change to better things for myself or it will begin to eat me up inside which I feel it has already begun to . There hasn’t been much moments where a place wasn’t crowded with groups of constant energy draining chatty people for a month or more now . I just been craving for simple small physical company in person lately, instead of big groups .

I’m slowly trying to figure out how to find back that balance again , so I could allocate the energy , space and time back in the right places . Also trying to find more places that are inviting and peaceful where I could recover .

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