Putting an end to the fears and regrets, voicing out my mind and feelings 

I’m trying to keep this writing going and see if I can make it a regular activity. I feel after writing , I’m more calm and my thoughts are more clear and collected .
The last entry I wrote helped me to learn about my fears and insecurities. It allowed me to have a higher understanding about them so I no longer fear them . I agree when they say that we only fear what we don’t know or understand . 
Since then I found a way that I could improve this behaviour of mine . I tried recently to practice being more vocal about how I feel about those around me , being more vocal when I needed help and when I was vulnerable . Having been that person to handle a lot on my own with my own personal things and taking care of many around me, I got use to keeping everything to myself living life that way .
Having met many strong minded ppl who were so open and direct with me really surprised me . It was one of many firsts in my life to encounter such people . I found them intriguing and inspirational and to be the most comfortable ppl I could ever be with. The reason is that I could always count on them to be honest and I never have to ever fear my own thoughts/actions second guess anything , also anything I could improve , I know I can count on them to point it out without hesitation .
I found it quite funny that they all seem to tell me the same thing , that their direct outspoken personalities are often seen as a negative thing . Often when they mention this trait about themselves , they always apologize to me. In return I always tell them , “no need to apologize , trust me , you don’t know how happy I am to have someone like you around “.
I spent most of life playing this guessing game with ppl and having my mind churning 24/7 , so having ppl say things as they are all the time is a great relief to me nowadays .
I may not be as bold or fearless as these amazing people , however they still inspired me regardless to at least try and get my voice heard and not to shroud myself in silence with so much insecurity , indecisiveness and fear .
I also don’t want to regret not having said something to someone or not done something that I always wanted and chose to hold back instead . I’m trying to live life without any more regrets . Even if I get faced with rejection ,at least I received an answer and I can be proud that I spoke out and tried , happy that I no longer have to wallow in a pool of what if’s or should of’s . 


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